Didnt even know your name

Keep trying.. hurting now but healing will come....

I feel like yesterday I probably wrote my blog in anger. I had a doctors appointment today. I guess we have been playing trial and error and error seems to have favored us. Having PCOS messes with your body A LOT! We have figured out that I need assistance in sustaining a pregnancy. We know what gets me pregnant now (Clomid-fertility drug) Now to keep it I need to start taking Prometrium (progesterone) as soon as we find out we are pregnant again, and continue through the first trimester. So... I know I said we wouldn't be using any fertility meds for a while. Well it hurts me more not to try working towards our goal. I am taking a fertility break in May.. still inducing my period since I don't get those on my own. Then in June induce period and take Clomid again. I hope that we will get pregnant in June/July.

We are still hurting but there is healing, and we'll be stronger people in the end.  But right now I still feel so broken. I can't wait for the day that I will finally be able to hold my baby in my arms! I hope this day comes sooner than later.

~Diana

Miscarriage #2

I don't understand it nor will I ever.  How can I be blessed with babies and shortly after they start growing they pass? I feel like I keep getting wonderful news and my dreams are coming true then baam! the rug is pulled out from under my feet and I'm left on the floor in pain! We were 6 weeks along this time! My baby was growing what happened??  

Needless to say I'm heartbroken over losing my two babies in less than 6 months.

We won't be using any fertility medicine in the near future. If I get a period normally and we get pregnant naturally Thank God! But until we are ready to move on and try again it will just be my wonderful husband, me, and our cat! I wish we could afford adoption some how. Maybe in the future....

Life is cruel sometimes... I wonder if its my body that can't handle the pregnancies or if the babies aren't developing correctly. I just wish we had a chance...


~ Diana .......

~*Baby Names!!!!!*~

I know I just announced our wonderful news yesterday but I thought I'd share the names we have picked out. (I'm secretly hoping for a girl and twins!!)

Boy names- 1st Boy-Dakota Gregory (Kota), 2nd Boy- Barry Alder(haven't figured out his nickname)
Girl names- 1st Girl- September Lynn (Berlynn), 2nd Girl- Kaleena Maria (Kali) 

So I am concerned about spotting. I've been spotting since last tuesday (April 12), brownish and dark red prunish color.  In TOTAL it has filled one pad at most. I Know spotting is normal and as long as its not bright red (fresh blood) then everything should be okay. I just worry because of our previous miscarriage. So I called my dr office and explained to one of the nurses my concern and she set up a lab visit for me tomorrow to check my hcg levels just to ease my worry.  Hopefully it is progressing well.

I also have my first ob and limited (not sure what that means) ultrasound appointment on May 5th. My regular physician is a Nurse Practitioner so she cant handle my prenatal care. May 5th will be my last appointment with her on prenatal care. That saddens me, she is an awesome person and is so excited for us and our dreams that are coming true. I'm nervous to have a new physician that doesn't know my history like she does. 

But I can't wait to hear my hcg levels again and to see my little blob!!!! Keep me and my miracle in your prayers!! Thank you ladies!!


Happy Blogging,
Diana Maria 

PREGO!!

Yes the title of this blog is correct! We ARE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  About 5 weeks along now.  On Thursday April 14th I had some blood work done and got the results yesterday that my hcG levels were around 135.  Then had more blood work done yesterday and got the results today. My levels are over 300!!!!!!  Its so exciting everything seems better this time around! My pregnancy back in December the levels never got above 10 before we miscarried. Please keep me and my miracle in your prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy. I have no morning sickness (yet!) Just tired, heavy abdomen feeling, sore bb's, and cravings for some hot wings!! 

This journey has been tough and I know its only just beginning another part of the journey. I am very ecstatic and hope everything will remain well. 

Keep us in your thoughts!!

Baby dust to those that are still trying!

Happy Blogging,

Diana Maria & Miracle baby!