I can't believe it has been nearly 3 years since our last pregnancy ended shortly. We took time away from medical help because it was too stressful and just too hard after losing 2 babies in the 2 pregnancies we've had. However, now we are back at it and I just swallowed my pill for this latest round of Clomid.
My husband and I will celebrate 7 years of marriage in July. Its hard to see that I'm only 25 years old, I've been married for 7 years and we've yet to have children in our arms. I get tired of hearing people ask me when we are going to have a baby. Those that know our struggle try and jump in if they are around and say something nice and sweet hoping that their comment doesn't sting me. But how do you tell a stranger or someone that doesn't know in a short simple way that some how ends that part of the conversation so you don't need to go into detail? Things just haven't been lucky for us in that area of life I suppose.
Lately it seems like my stress & anxiety levels have skyrocketed. I stress over everything and get anxious in any confrontational situation very easily. I stress over my weight, what I eat (because of my weight), money, my jobs, infertility, PCOS, and so much more. I wish I could just snap myself out of it but its just not easy. And I'm not the type of person to ask my doctor for medication with this issue. I just feel I should be able to work it out myself and not mask it with pharmaceutical drugs. Oh well I guess this is a part of life too.
Why does life have to be so unfair at times? I'm a good person. I try to do things right. I just wish it was easier. I want the life I pictured: at least 2 kids a boy and a girl, a nice home on my own land, my husband by my side, and we'd be providing the best life possible for our family.
Okay enough ranting..
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